Before I started my business, Stonemonk Media, I was trapped.
The meager paycheck cash injections I received from any given employer kept me from ever dreaming big or thinking long-term.
Just punch in punch out. Show up on time. Monday is Friday and my growth was always in someone else’s hands. Pushing myself for the groveling of a pittance upgrade if you were worthy was always an unfair tradeoff to me.
Assembly line thinking. Yes sir. No sir. Always taking on more work, more duties, more stress. Sometimes only for a title “upgrade”. Always way more work for the money that was paid to me.
Since starting my business, that mindset, approach and reality have changed entirely.
Now I decide my income. I decide the value of my labor and wisdom. I choose the work I do and the hours I do them.
I create my reality and build my future.
The Numbers
Part of that of course, at the very foundation, is income and revenue.
I pay myself from the money I make, which is a defined, set rate that I choose. I keep it modest. I pay my bills. I have some spending money. I don’t go hogwild. The less I spend on a regular basis means more cushion and security for my future. For me and my family.
I pay close attention to my ins and outs, my P&L, I know what I have in all accounts down to the dollar on any given day. I ensure my ins are more than my outs, but also ensure I have cash flow and reserves for investment and emergency.
I ensure I have at least 3 months of income in my war chest at all times.
I restructured my retirement to ensure maximum growth at the end of my life, so I do not end up in poverty.
I had one window of time this year so far where things got tight, a little scary and worrisome, thanks to a hospitalization that I nearly did not survive and some dual investments made that I struggled to return right away, but I have since rebounded.
The Real Safe Route
The reality is, that this approach has proven to me to be far more stable, rewarding and if I'm being honest, comfortable.
This is the safe route for me because I am in charge. No one gets to tell me what I can and can’t make. And since I’ve built my business with security in mind, I ensure multiple revenue sources. Diversify the income streams. I’ll take losing a client over losing a job any day of the week.
When you know you have a paycheck for the season and beyond, because it’s already in your bank account versus trusting your boss won’t find a reason to squeeze you off the role call, you don’t stress about every little thing. You can breathe easier. Take your time. Do the things you need to do and spend the rest of your time living in the present moment, enjoying the simpler pleasures like slow mornings or walks with your dog.
I eventually plan to stretch the war chest to 6 months and beyond as I grow my business. That is the kind of stability I could never achieve with a locked-in set-in-stone paycheck.
That glass ceiling is very real, and most of us do absolutely nothing about it, except grumble here and there or bring in a side hustle or work overtime or just grovel for a raise. Maybe we change jobs and make some headway, but in the end, you’re still just making someone else wealthy on the back of your labor.
The odds you are being compensated fairly are very low.
But the odds you can be let go? Through the roof.
Intentionally, Not Relentlessly
Nowadays I work hard but I don’t kill myself. I also don't waste any time. I’m not filling a seat in a cubicle in a warehouse. I work intentionally. Not relentlessly.
My time is all mine. I work when I want, how I want and with whom I want.
This has given way to all sorts of new ways of thinking, new approaches, and new creativity. Not being stressed and on someone else’s clock all day changes you. I meditate now. I spend time strategizing. I network and help others whenever possible. I build, adapt and evolve.
I liken it to outdoor survival and a more traditional existence. I have “high ticket offers”, or large bounties that fill my freezer. I have “small ticket” recurring offers, the small game I supplement the larger game.
So long as I stay ahead, keep hunting, keep focused, keep the fire burning, keep the revenue coming in, I am good. Content. I don’t need to be filthy rich. The whole goal of this new reality is freedom. Independence.
Sustainability.
Perpetual Growth is a Lie
The pursuit of neverending growth is unlike anything that exists in nature. Always trying to up the financial score forever is an unwinnable and detrimental game in my eyes.
It’s what makes most of us miserable. Because most of us work for someone or some company whose only goal is perpetual growth. It’s simply unsustainable and unnatural.
It leads to burnout. Exhaustion. Fatigue. Death. And the real casualty is your time.
Time is the only resource we cannot get back. You can make a million dollars, lose it, and make it again. You can’t get yesterday back.
If you’re missing the little moments in your life to clock in for your rich boss, you will never get it back. Birthdays. Graduations. Just playing in the backyard with your kids. If you are sacrificing all that to keep the bills paid, while your boss gets all that time, well, I think you could do things better.
The Moments You Can Never Get Back
I watched my mother and one of my younger sisters die in less than 2 years of each other. I will never get any more time with them. I missed a lot of it because I had to work. Because I didn’t have the freedom of bereavement or family leave.
When my mom was dying in the hospital of what we learned later was COVID, I had to miss chunks of that fleeting, precious time in order to attend meetings at my job. Meetings that I couldn’t tell you about now if I tried. And then we were furloughed for months and I had to call every day to see if there was work to do, and wasn’t sure if I was going to have a job.
I left that mindset and that torturous reality for good and I will never look back. Now it’s about life-work balance. Not the other way around. Putting in the time on things that matter. Shelving things that don’t. Not even entertaining the dumb bullshit or worthless empty meetings that could have been an email.
No Gods, No Masters
All efforts go toward the goal. 80/20.
I will never go back to the old ways.
That is the path of servitude.
For me anyway.
I know it works for some. That's totally fine. But it never really worked for me.
I've learned that I must be free completely.
No gods, no masters.
Which some say is riskier.
What I learned from firsthand experience is that a job is far riskier.
Never, Ever Again
Part of what led me to where I am happened about nine years ago.
I, along with my entire staff, was unceremoniously fired while we were on a comeback tour of sorts following some previous corporate shakeups and chaos. We were all doing an exceptionally profound and dynamic job, after a decade of domination.
And all of a sudden, it was finished. It was like a car crash. A firing squad. All of us cut loose, the rug pulled from under us after we were told that was never happening.
In the end, it happened simply because some rich white men in penny loafers wanted to save a few bucks while gutting a brand forever that still haunts an entire city with its legacy.
We were nothing more than a yacht to them. An expensive boat. An ugly stain on their khakis.
Our independent attitude, which was the source of our dominance and strength, was offensive to them. Our mere existence was a threat. We were the weeds of their pristine golf course grass lifestyle.
Never mind we had families, new homes and plans for the future.
“Nitenite. Here's your severance. Go fuck yourselves.”
After that day, I vowed to never let someone control my destiny again.
And in the end I didn't. I became ruthless, selfish and cunning. No one was above a walkout to me. No person would ever threaten my livelihood like that again.
I immediately started my independent hustle and I kept my ear to the ground for opportunities. Sun Tzu once said, “Opportunities multiply as they are achieved.” I have always lived by that statement.
Every move I made after was calculated, strategic and effective with the only goal of building a future of my own design. I moved around and gained valuable skills, power, case studies, and proof of my abilities. I tested myself. Pushed myself. I never gave up.
The goal was to properly launch a business in a major city.
And that's what the fuck I did.
Fuck The Critics
Some have questioned and even criticized some (or all, depending on who you ask) my moves once I got to Portland. But I did everything I wanted. Went out on top in radio, as a fuck you to anyone who didn’t see my value. I worked for some incredible heritage brands. I did some impressive shit. No one can talk down on what I achieved and what I did in such little time.
But I also job-hopped. Which I’ve received my fair share of judgment about. But after the brutal lesson I learned about corporate loyalty, the only person who mattered at the end of the day was me. I never held loyalty to anyone after what happened to me. That I could sacrifice a decade of my life to be axed without a word was something I took with me everywhere and still do to this day. I have no tolerance for poor treatment. From anyone.
I only stayed a year or two anywhere I worked. Because deep down, my goal was to start my own business. Every job was a test for me and me alone. And sadly, there is a plethora of toxic workplaces in the “big city”. So many fevered egos. Nowhere gave me any real reason to remain loyal, even if I wanted it.
Each new gig I gained at least $20k in income each time I moved. By the time I launched my business, I went from just over $30k to over 6 figures in 5 years. Try doing that at any job, especially in radio, which I made a career out of for two decades.
"Job Security." Bullshit.
Sevitude for a pittance.
Fear is a Bully
I saw the value I could bring and I expected to be rewarded for bringing it. The second I wasn't, the second the brass got testy or hostile or treated me or someone else like shit, I leaped immediately into a bigger role. Somewhere else.
I learned much along the way, made friends and allies and also plenty of enemies along the way. Part of doing business I guess. I learned what I would and would not put up with and what I was really good at and what I wasn't.
Ultimately I learned I was good enough to set out on my own. I have had multiple side hustles throughout my life while working full-time career jobs. Writing. DJing. Music. Production. Web design. Social media. Etc. I never went all in on any of it. And that was what I needed to do. Stop hiding behind good enough gigs and go all in on myself. On my dream.
The biggest lesson right away?
Fear is a bitch. A whiny bitch. And a bully. The second you stand up to it, it collapses like hot laundry. I let my Fear guide me for far too long. It told me lies and said I wasn't good enough. I won't make enough money. I'll fail or give up. I'll lose everything.
All fucking lies. That I told myself repeatedly.
This is what Steven Pressfield talks about in his masterful book The War of Art. He calls it Resistance.
Once I confronted my own Resistance, which I continue to do every day, I realized how much power I really had. That mindset is what I nurture and reward now. Because it has shown me the path to true freedom.
This is the only path for me.
If this essay spoke to your soul, you might consider taking a similar route. If you want any advice or guidance, let me know. I’d be honored to give you some advice.